You're a REAL man

You're a real man. With your purple knuckles and drunken kisses. You're a real man, don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Because it seems the dirt under your finger nails and Ethanol in your blood will just not suffice. You're a real man, a poorly-endowed sack of sorrow. You look a little yellow under this light. Could be the dimness your star has faded to. Or is it just the fact you're surrounded by instruments you'll never pick up again and bruised women that block your light? You're a real man.

And in case the sarcasm and irony were not apparent....

.....I hope you swallow your tongue and choke.