Ohhhh...my

Ohhhh.....my....
I've gone from two posts in one day to no posts at all. My apologies. I've been trying to write. Not really forcing myself to write, but at least getting words down on paper. And it's been a while since I've tried so hard, being the last time I tried was to impress people, and now that I don't really care what people think of me anymore, trying to write well again is beginning to become a challenge.
Inspiration vanished as quickly as it appeared. The part of my brain that stores ideas has been over-capacitated for quite some time now, and now that I need it to hold more, it's stretched well over it's limits. My words are mediocre in comparison to my old work. I feel duped.
The only thing I can think of doing is reading more or listening to more music. But by doing that I feel as though I'm not putting any effort into writing. It feels like procrastination. Nothing productive comes out of it. Then again, that's just me. I'm impatient for the genius everybody tells me I have to shine through my cracks. Every time I read someone else's poetry, there's a moment of inspiration, my genius, my idea, and then envy. Nothing more, nothing less.

Well, I suppose you won't be hearing much from me. Which, in fact, doesn't really help my situation. My blog at least helps me get down words, sentences, paragraphs. Even if it's not completely fiction or doesn't rhyme. I already feel like a dick as it is, leaving you all hanging with nothing else but old entries. But I can't have it all at once. Writing is my cake. I suppose I can't have it and eat it too.