I'm disowning myself. I'm not me anymore. This is just a body. A worthless empty shell I'll use to store all of my emotions. I'll be looking at myself from beside me, behind me, or above me. I'll be blank. A blank outer shell, and a heart broken soul that watches over it so it isn't damaged.
Yesterday I asked my best friend's boyfriend to teach me guitar. What I didn't know was that my best friend would take that offensively. So now she somehow got the thought in her head that I'm jealous of her. But I could never EVER be jealous of her. She's my bestie for Christ's sake! Just like Keltie said; that all of us are in the center of a web that we weave around all the awesome people in our life. And if the web is vibrating with positive energy, I'll be better also. So I could never be jealous of her or her boyfriend.
This girl means the world to me okay? She's not only my best friend, but my mentor. The one and only person I can go to for anything, and she won't judge me or criticize me. I hope you have a friend like that. If you do, would you ever want to lose them? No. I'm losing her, and it's not fun. It's not fair. So I hope you understand how much she means to me. Because that's being taken from me, and then I'll have nothing.
This isn't fair.
So now I'm blank. I don't care anymore.
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