Invisible

Sometimes I wish I could dissapear to see the reactions of all the people in my life. So I counted all of the possible candidates I thought would miss me the most, and came up with three people. None of which are related to me. Devin, Sam, and Kristen. That's all I can come up with.

Not Jessica. Not my own mother. Not my own brother. Not even my own father.

Just three really great friends.

Sometimes I feel like I'm invisible, and the only people who notice me are the people who talk to me. Sure my family talks to me, but with no concern, not even empathy, which is all I ask for. I feel like an empty shell that's held together by stiches that curve my lips upward. A smile. Not even a real smile. It's true though. I have to force my lips to curl to make others believe that the invincible girl they think I am is going to be okay.

I don't even believe my own lie.

I was fine at school last year. I was fine this summer. But now, this huge public school I'm going to makes me feel invisible. Too many people and too little attention from the teachers. They don't give a shit about anyone. No one at that God forsaken school does, other than the three people I named above. Not even whom I thought to be my best friend.

I hate feeling betrayed, and backstabbed.

So I swore to myself I would never do that to anyone else.

I'll just be invisible.

I'm content with that....

Kind of.