Here's to you, PostSecret

Just some of my favorite pictures from PostSecret.

Snippet of lyrics from 'A Falling Star'

"I guess figuring out You were wrong
Is much harder
When you knew it all along.
I couldn’t swallow my pride,
Just to see her smile,
One last time.
Before I move on.
Oh but I didn’t.
I became what I despised,
And let it eat me alive.
From the inside out,
I was rotten,
A ghost of who I used to be.
And then she brought me back,
From this somber graveyard
And gave life back to me....."

It's a funny thing...

It’s a funny thing when you realize the guy you’ve been idolizing for 3 years is a filthy liar who is undeserving of your worthiness. It’s a funny thing to realize that even though I can think on my feet and lie as well as he can, I still chose not to.

"Somebody had to tell you your lies are getting old. And they are. It’s better to tell the truth because that way, you don’t have to remember the lie that you told. In my not-so-humble opinion, I think it’s bullshit. You can’t be too afraid to trust someone that you lie to push them away and run when they get too close to you. You have to be careful who you let out of your life, because when you long for absolution, there will be no one on the line. Sanity will slowly seep it’s way through your fingers.

I know what you’re doing. Mostly because I live in what I call my Dreamer State also. My reality isn't all that pleasant either, but at least I’m not too far off from reality. I know what real and what’s fake, where as you live in a world where you make things up as you go along and hope to God it all plays out in the end. Your reality is so far off from actuality that it almost hurts when you fall back down to Earth. Open your God damn eyes, reality is knocking on your lids; it wants in. Face it, if you keep doing this you’ll end up dying a lonely death.

Underneath all the lies, infidelity, and lust, I’m pretty sure you could be a good person."

"I am pretty sure that there was nothing more magical than being in the room with that dreamer as he wrote music. I was there once, I felt that magic. Even though years later most of the time my thoughts go to 'what was i thinking?!' There were a whole bunch of other people that got to become addicted to that brilliance too, but to be honest, there was nothing worse than being the the room with him the rest of the time. I have never met a better liar."

The Tales of Rain

by Julianna Isbell (me...duh)

My reflection is a ghost in glass,
dotted with the drops of rain
that falls beyond the blades of grass
and dances down to rolling plains.
They tell the fable of our pasts
and whisper tales so wise of age.

This Dream of Mine

Dream of mine:

I'm walking through this REALLY narrow hallway (like literately, I can barely squeeze through) and I see everyone that's walking the same way as me is wearing a mask. Then this guy in a Chuckie mask yells "Here, piggy, piggy!" right at me. That's when I realize I'm wearing a pig mask. So I take it off, and all of the sudden some sirens go off, and the voice says "Warning, person without mask, person without mask!" So I try to put my mask back on to shut it up, but by now I dropped the pig mask and it turns to dust on the floor.

So now everybody is looking at me, and they circle around me, and I can't breathe. There's like no way out except for a gap in people. I run through that and into a hotel lobby, where there's a party, and everyone is still wearing masks. But people are also dressed up in white tie or whatever. And the guy who called piggy comes up to me and picks me up, and I'm like WAY over his head (like go-go gadget super-arm!) and when he starts walking I see everybody who doesn't have a mask on is hanging my ropes on the ceiling. Suddenly some ropes come down and grip around my wrists and ankles then pull me back up to the ceiling.

Now it's me and a few other's (that include: Dorian, Lexi, Adam, Caleb, Lacy, Devin, and for some reason, Jon Walker) and we're like, trapped to a ceiling. It's so bizarre. So then I like tug at the ropes, and they let go of me, and then everybody starts falling, except we don't hit the ground, we just keep going! Then we land in a pile of masks, and every body's like "Get one on!" So I try to pick up a mask to put on my face, but whichever mask I try to put on my face turns to dust when I touch it. So Lacy comes over and starts digging, and all of the sudden we see there are bones under the masks. Like, skeletons!

So they come to life, and one grabs Lacy and I and pulls us under, until we're amongst all the skeletons, and we're floating. We're floating about the hotel lobby, watching everyone in their masks. And then a voice says, "It's time," and everybody takes off their mask. And they're all REALLY ugly! And then they drop dead, and the rest of us drop to the floor, and look at each other like "What the heck?"

Then I wake up.

Quotes

"Who will I be when I wake up next to a stranger, on a passenger plane, on a passenger plane.." - FOB

You can only blame your problems on the world for so long, before it all becomes the same old song." - FOB

"Call me, Mr. Benzedrine, but don't let the doctor in, I wanna blow off steam and...." - FOB/B.U.

"I set my clocks early 'cause you know, I'm always late." - FOB

"We're still so young, desperate for attention." - P!ATD

"Film the world before it happens." - P!ATD

"Can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid." - P!ATD

"Jealousy's the cousin of greed" - CIWWAF

"Ignorance is your new best friend." - Paramore

"I don't dream, I nightmare." - Me.

Things That I've Learned (Sometimes the hard way)

1. No matter how much you care, some people just don't care back.
2. It takes years to build up trust, and minutes to destroy it.
3. It's not what you have in your life, it's who you have in your life that counts.
4. You can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you better know something.
5. You can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
6. You should always leave loved ones with loving words. It might be the last time you see them.
7. We are responsible for what we do and how we act, no matter how we feel.
8. Either you control your attitude, or it controls you.
9. Money is a lousy way of keeping score.
10. Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
11. You should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed you.
12. People can look at the same thing and see something completely different.
13. No matter how hard you try to protect your child, they will eventually get hurt.
14. No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world will not stop spinning for your grief.
15. Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who and what we become.
16. Heroes are people who do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, regardless of circumstances.
17. Credentials on a wall do not make you a decent person.
18. It is hard to draw the line between being nice and not hurting anyone's feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I wish

I wish I have an excuse to feel the way I feel.

I wish somebody would just get me out of here.

I wish I have a reason for wanting to stop existing.

I wish I could help you, but I just don't know how to.

I know what you're doing. I'm doing the same exact thing.

Panic Tribute

We Are Human

We are human. We are liars, we are ignorant, we are selfish and narcissistic and quite frankly very oblivious to anybody but ourselves. We are a giant ball of built of anxiety and stored rage, with patches of arrogance, confusion, and naivety all sewed together with good intentions. Don’t kid yourselves, no one knows what they want. No one knows what to go for in life because we, us humans, are too afraid of the unknown, of things that are unusual or not cliche. We don’t listen to one another too carefully, we like to hear our own voices. We like to hear the only things we want to hear. I call this selective hearing.


We are cheaters, we are fake, we are “two-faced”, and we are afraid. We are so afraid. These are flaws. Us humans are made up entirely of flaws. Flaws, blunders, infinite demerits that surface themselves at exactly the wrong times. You count them all, point them out with a petty jab, you judge and criticize and patronize and knock people on their asses because of their flaws. I could sit here and name them all right now, but unfortunately I only have so much room in this blog post.

We are hypocrites, we are weak, we are conceited, we are vain. We walk around with our pride in our pockets and our hearts on our sleeves, hoping somebody will venture into our own little worlds and learn to love us for “who we really are”. Oh, but nobody knows who they really are. You know your name, where you grew up, when your birthday is. But you don’t know who you are. So how do you expect someone to give all of themselves to you when you don’t even know who ‘you’ is.

We are immature. We are careless We are indifferent. We are...we are....we are...oh the list goes on and on and on and on. You have to learn to give compassion to our flaws, to fully except them. You can’t only know how to spell compassion. You have to show it. Show love. Show sympathy. Show boldness and bravery.

We are humans. We are brave. We are bold. We are strong. We are compassionate. We are sympathetic. We are completely unique. We are empathetic. We are cautious. We are diverse. We are humorous. We are inappropriate at appropriate times. We are most definitely frivolous. We are selfish. We are one.

WE, US humans. WE are one, in a completely distinct pattern of diversity. Have you ever looked outside your window when you’re driving, and see so many cars, moving with each other? It is amazing to see a bunch of people, whom don’t know anything about anybodies lives, moving in sync. They all branch off into their everyday lives, but share a moment in which they simultaneously travel, completely oblivious to anyone’s mood around them.

Yes, we are flawed. But we are humans. We are most certainly a unique species of idiotic, oblivious, selfish, and socially awkward humans. Yes, we might still litter even though we know this planet is dying, day by day. We might not listen to a wise word of caution someone might have to say. But we are humans. We cannot be perfect.

But everybody today is asking these flawed humans to be perfect. We have medicine to fix our problems now. We have Ambien for sleeping issues, Abilify for depression. We have these photos that make ordinary people feel like shit. We have magazines telling us what we should do. How we should look. How we should act. Telling us to be perfect.

It is impossible. So we learn from our mistakes, and from others’ mistakes, because we can’t live long enough to make them all ourselves, we move on, and hopefully we grow. As a species. As a population. As dirty, careless, selfish, rude humans.

Winter's Meldoy (The Golden Of The Dawn)

The evening has swallowed,
The yellow of the sun,
Touching the grass,
With a gentle kiss.
Around the corner,
Winter has begun.
But for now,
We'll lie in silent bliss.
As the moon scatters all the creatures,
Casting shadows on Earth's features.
Singing softly,
In the midst of the night.
While we sit around the blazing fire,
Drained of all our cold desires.
Turns to ash,
As we hope for daytime skies.

When our trees are bare,
There in chilly air,
Gazing past the galaxies to come.
A melancholy thought,
To the witness of the dark.
And we sleep,
While we wait for rising dawn,
And we dream of the fallen winter sun.

Our prayers will wait,
As we try to figure out,
How to get home,
In such frigid air.
Watching closely as,
Pretty snow falls down,
From the clouds above,
Save me from it's care.
As the minutes,
Become the hours,
Trees bud leaves,
While blooming flowers.
Harmonies,
Heard from shore to shore.
And the skies spoke,
In foreign language.
Don't dare show,
Your dormant hatred.
Hiding from me,
But wanting something more.

When our trees are bare,
There in chilly air,
Gazing past the galaxies to come.
A melancholy thought,
To the witness of the dark.
And we sleep,
While we wait for rising dawn.
And we dream,
Of the fallen winter sun.
But the winter,
Has only just begun.

Winds so invisible,
Whispers at your window.
Calling your name,
When you know you are alone.
Shining past the singing birds,
Now dawn has come.
No other words,
You choose,
Can explain what's going on.
Such a pretty sight,
Leaving speechless, mesmerized.
In awe of the rising winter sun.
And the backdrop is the golden of the dawn.

Story Of The Young Girl In Whtie

Walking with the morning,

As the night goes to bed,

Singing with the flowers,

And dancing with claret.

As soon as the cerulean,

Opens its eyes.

We’ll walk along the brink,

Of the ocean’s demise.

Sitting with your pensiveness,

A melancholic tone.

To whomever ruined it,

I do not condone.

We’ll convey the story,

Of the young girl in white,

Walking with a broken heel,

And rimmed in red, her eyes.

I,

Do not believe this innocence,

Struck as such a late age.

I,

See right through your ignorance,

Do you think this is just a game?

Here but in a fortnight,

As autumn falls asleep.

Wandering among the lust

Is just as wrong to me.

Faking your precision,

When the knife comes around,

Pouring you some pride but then,

Her name spills from your mouth.

Dropping like a bomb,

They call,

It’s simply fun to watch.

Bloodcurdling indifference,

And her apathy is lost.

And where was her sympathy?

I thought I made that clear,

Condolence walked away,

But stayed too long to cease her fear.

I,

Do not believe this innocence,

Struck as such a late age.

I,

See right through your ignorance,

Do you think this is just a game?

I,

Do not believe this innocence,

Struck as such a late age.

I,

See right through your ignorance,

Do you think this is just a game?

Where was my happy ending?

This can’t be a story,

Without smiles on their faces.

I ordered my demerits,

Wiped, but this book can’t bear it.

She isn’t smiling,

Smiling,

She’s dying.

I,

Do not believe this innocence,

Struck as such a late age.

I,

See right through your ignorance,

Do you think this is just a game?

I,

Do not believe this innocence,

Struck as such a late age.

I,

Do not believe this innocence,

Struck as such a late age.

I,

Do not believe this innocence,

Struck as such a late age.

I,

Do not believe this innocence,

Struck as such a late age.

I,

See right through your ignorance,

Do you think this is just a game?

Where was my happy ending?

This can’t be a story,

Without smiles on their faces.

I ordered my demerits,

Wiped, but this book can’t bear it.

She isn’t smiling,

Smiling,

She’s dying.

She’s dying.