the evil popper

if there is anything I hate
more than everything in the world,
it would be the evil popper.
the popper is this gargantuan metal contraption
that spews out heroin-laced popcorn (not literally)
and laughs at me as I try to clean it.
it gargles out oil and salt
and spits its nasty black gunk
that seems to get stuck EVERYWHERE
on this giant beast.
it boils your face when you stand over it,
to bag the popcorn
or put more seeds in its mouth.

the funny thing is that I (and me alone)
have to clean this metal beast
whenever I'm working concession.
why, you ask?
well because I'm a newbie,
and they want me to be able
to clear the metal teeth of
the black gunk and salty kernels
without requiring help from fellow employees.
bullshit.
they want me to be swallowed whole
by the evil popper,
and spit out all puffed up and salty
just like the popcorn and the rest of my co-workers.

fuck the evil popper.
I would rather lick peanut butter
off of a hobo's infected toe
than clean the evil metal beast.