The Perks of Being a Wallflower

you say nothing like that ever happened to me...but I think you forget that all of that, almost the same exact shit, happened to me. Is still happening to me. I think you forget that I don't have friends like that. that even though I'm a junior and I'm not as quiet as the character of the movie, and that I'm outgoing and smart..I don't have close friends. I have acquaintances..at most. I think you forget about your ex husband and junior high and Angel and losing everything. And I am still losing and losing even though I've already lost so much and I really don't have anything else to lose. I don't think you realize that this has not gotten better and it is worse than it was, even with this medicine. I am so sorry that I lied to you and that I put up this front of happiness but I want you to be happy and your happiness is my happiness. I am so sorry that I told you I'm better and I made it seem like it all went away but I am too scared to admit I need help and I need to go back to that place. I don't want to go back because I will fail my classes and I can't have that, you won't be happy. Basically the whole entire reason I am still living my life is because you believe I deserve to live this life and I don't want you to be sad that I don't want to live this life. And I need help because I want this to end. It's been long enough, don't you think? It's been long enough and its just gonna get longer because let's face it, the only way for this to end is if this ends. Is if I end.