Friday, December 31, 2010

The "L" word

Please, think about your feelings before you go throwing the "L" word around. Look at yourself, trying so hard to prove to me that you "love" him. I doubt that you ever had any feelings for him whatsoever. But keep trying to convince yourself that, I'm sure it'll work.

You feel left behind, that's what you feel. You want him because he hurt you, because you want to prove to yourself that you're not just some reject. You need to feel as though you can get him and keep him and not be left behind.

Don't you just hate it when people throw the "L" word around just for the heck of it? Like it's just a word, there's no meaning that lies behind it. It's meant for everyday use. To throw at anybody that gives you the opprotunity, and not saying it to whom we really should be.


"I love you" and "I hate you" are the single most common lies ever told.

Stop just throwing it around like it's nothing.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Society

The school's nowadays are becoming increasingly voilent and dangerous. Innocence has died along with chivalry and integrity. Where lies our dormant morals?

Drowning in a sea of inept parenting and unimaginative media. In a society where parents shuttle their children off to daycares and nannies, before plopping them down in front of entertainment that idealizes shallowness and violence, can we really be surprised at the newest generation of youth that has cropped up?

No!

The absenteeism of parents in childrens' lives have made their innocence vanish, and a superficial stereotype remains. The propaganda of how we should look and how we should act infiltrates our minds and brainwashes us...until we are merely nothing but an outer shell of an ego.

It is utterly disgusting.

However, I take comfort in the fact that it will not last forever, this too will pass.

Discrimination and racism and sexism....when...please tell me....will it end?

Panic! At The Disco

The group has gone their seperate ways now; however, Panic! At The Disco still plays on. Two men, a rather young Ryan Ross, and a rather scroungy Jonathon Walker, have decided to part from Panic! and pursue their own dreams. The Young Veins is on hiatus for the moment, for Ryan has found purpose in hockey...I was told. The two other men who chose to carry on with Panic, Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith, are coming out with a new album early next year.

This is the Panic! break up from my point of view.

This is the Panic! break up from the others' points of view:

ZOMG NOOOOOOOO!

Monday, December 13, 2010

I Can Walk On Water Too, When It's Frozen

Who,
Do,
You,
Think you are?
You,
You have to believe in Jesus first,
To be compelled by the power of Christ.
Well I don't believe in your imaginary friends.
If I'm condemned to hell,
Let me pay my price.
I'm tired of sitting,
In these rotting pews,
Where the pulpit is stained,
From the wine.
They say it turns to blood,
But it's still tastes the same.
It's like they're feeding lies,
To all the infints,
Just born from naivety.
Honey gullible is writen on the ceiling,
And you bend your neck,
To look up anyway.

Where's your proof,
Where's my miracle?
If God exists,
Is this pure hell?
I don't wanna die,
Because I'll just rot in the filth,
You can't make me believe in something,
I don't want to believe it.
Faith is just a myth,
And hope is just a lie,
You keep telling yourself,
That it'll be alright,
But it won't.
If you don't do anything,
About it.
Oh.

I,
Can't belive,
What you need to believe.
You and me are different honey,
See you suffer from unrealistic,
Expectations,
When I live in reality.
Well these walls are closing in,
And this cross is just a plus sign,
Hanging above the preacher.
But he's not even preachin',
No he just sits there readin',
And,
No one else is listenin',
It's killing me,
No conviction.

Where's your proof,
Where's my miracle,
If God exists,
Is this pure hell?
I don't wanna die,
Because I'll just rot in the filth,
You can't make me believe in something,
I don't want to believe it.
Faith is just a myth,
And hope is just a lie,
You keep telling yourself,
That it'll be alright,
But it won't.
If you don't do anything,
About it.
Oh.

You'd have to set me on fire,
Before I got married in a parish,
With a special pope,
Who baptizes all the innocent children.
Please shoving your religion,
Down my throat.
I can barely breathe in.
Oh.

Where's your proof,
Where's my miracle,
If God exists,
Is this pure hell?
Where's your proof,
Where's my miracle,
If God exists,
Is this pure hell?
I don't wanna die,
Because I'll just rot in the filth,
You can't make me believe in something,
I don't want to believe it.
Faith is just a myth,
And hope is just a lie,
You keep telling yourself,
That it'll be alright,
But it won't.
If you don't do anything,
About it.
Oh.
I don't wanna die,
Because I'll just rot in the filth,
You can't make me believe in something,
I don't want to believe it.
Faith is just a myth,
And hope is just a lie,
You keep telling yourself,
That it'll be alright,
But it won't.
If you don't do anything,
About it.
Oh.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Technology

Please turn off your blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries.

Also, put away your Ipods, Epods, Apods, and Opods.

Can you believe what they're calling this shit? When I was your age, a blackberry was a fruit. Yes, a fruit. NOT a cellphone.

Uh, hey, you're doing it wrong.

I'm sure most of the kids (yes, kids) that use this junk don't know half of what they're actually doing. Calling people comes from magical unicorns, not from satellites. Uh, duh. Hey ten-year-old, I get it. You're rich. You made that clear when you rubbed you Apod in my face for the tenth time. Seriously. Maybe you just have a fedish for topping people? You'll go far in life. (Sarcasm)

Ten-year-olds. Can you believe it? And already they're becoming narcissistic, moronic, ignorant, and frankly, downright ridiculous erotomaniacs. Ooooh, yeah I went there.


Ten-year-olds.


It baffles me.

Monday, December 6, 2010

My Day

I woke up today. That's a start. I decided to wear the sweater-dress I wore to my grandmother's late Thanksgiving dinner, and my deceased great aunt's poofy blue-green coat. Needless to say I didn't match, but oh well. My mom had washed my tights the prior night and they were still damp this morning, but I pulled them on and stood in the freezing cold with wet tights for five mintutes anyway. (That's a run-on sentence if I've ever seen one.)
On the bus, a different girl sat next to me, again, without my permission. She must have been friends with the girl whom usually sits next to me because they were chatting up a storm while me and the other victim (still half-awake) sitting in the other seat were forced to listen to "ZOMG DID YOU HEAR WHAT JOHNNY DID?" the whole bus-ride there. I could barely even keep my eyes open.
When I got to school I rushed through the doors as fast as I could so I could find Dorian. Finding him wasn't hard; as soon as I walked in and turned the corner I saw his head bounce my way. I put my poofy coat in my locker, after turning to every friend I saw on the way there and pouncing on them, telling them to look at my poofy coat. Yeah, I rocked it. I rocked the proofy coat. Epic.
We walked back down the other way, stopping to say hello to my friends, all scattered in a group by the window of the fish-bowl. (I call the circle going around our school court-yard the fish-bowl.) In Mrs. Yeager's class we did a fun (not really) activity on the promethean board involving our vocabulary words. I don't really study, I so pretended to be smart and know what I'm talking about while the rest of my group did all the work. At least I had my vocabulary list.
Choir was as normal as it gets. We have to sing the first part of a song in german, so all the words sound like a mentally retared kid got a hold of something hot and is attempting to curse. Skyler made up very perverted names for everyone in his gym class, including me, although I'm not in gym this year. Apparently I'm "Junk-touching Julie."
World studies - boring. Math - somewhat interesting. Mr. Lipinski* was somewhere else so we had a substitute teacher today. She just sat back and read a book while we threw dry and tastless nuts at each other. I was called a dumb whore by someone who's probably still a virgin, or someone who's had sex so many times not even chick on chick porn can get that little guy up. Moron.
I hate pretty much everybody in my school. They're all narcissistic, air/meat-headed, downright rude, morons. All of them! (With the exception of my friends/boyfriend.) You can try to talk to them but they'll just stare at you like you're some sort of high-tech robot that came back from the future. You could hold a gun to their heads and tell them you would kill them, but speak as if you were an adult, and they'd just stare blankly until you pulled the trigger. (Then they'd smile because they're not people and they can't die. Uh oh. Idiot zombies? That's worse than regular zombies! "Hearts! Hear-wait....Brains! Brains!" *muches on tree*)
Spanish was just kind of me hating everyone and their stupidity. The only person I like in that class is a guy named Blake, because he's not an idiot and isn't immature like EVERYBODY else. I used to think my old childhood friend, Stephanie, was nice, but she's apparently friends with a girl who made out with a teacher. Major points taken away for that. I went to the bathroom and just kind of sat there in the hallway looking at the snow falling outside. It was truly breath-taking.
The only new thing I learned was the spanish verb 'tener' or whatever. I learned how to conjugate it and what not, and then I took notes on a paper the teacher pretty much just did herself. The rest of the period I stared off into space and thought about baby names and a restaurant that would fit your every need. It would also have your own name on it, and you could coerce whoever you dislike to work there for you. Best. Idea. Since. Forver. Ago.
Lunch wasn't much fun either. While standing in line, still in my daze of restaurant heaven, Dorian got into an increasingly aggressive argument with Kristin. Talk about drama. It was over the silliest thing. A song. Yes. It was over song. And innocents got hurt! Poor poor Tyler. He was only trying to defend Kristin. Oh well, I'm not going into anymore depth on this one. It's over and done with and I'm glad.
The rest of the lunch period I spent as a nun in a curch/school. (Day-dreaming.) Most-likey because in English, which was next period, we were reading a book called "They Cage the Animals at Night" by Jennings Michael* Burch. It's about a memoir of Jennings going to a foster home in a church because his mother gets sick. It's interesting, very, very interesting. The only sad part about it is that this actually happened.
English, I spent reading. Books are like drugs to me, you can't get me off them. Besides, these drugs are at least GOOD for you. Not like cocaine or acid or heroin. Those bullshit drugs. I hope everyone who wants to do those drugs realizes what they're putting their poor body through. And smoking, God help me. At least I can thank the tobacco company for fishing out the idiots in this world. (Cough cough, my brother.)
In art (Technically it's 'Drawing basics'.) I did absolutely nothing. Before the bell even rang I was walking down to the nurses office, holding my stomach, in faux pain. I felt fake. I was walking down the crowded corridors when the bell rang, and every ape in the hallways rushed off to class to get lectures on being late. Again.
I stepped inside, only to see one of my really good friend's mother's familiar face. Nicest. Nurse. Ever. I told her I wasn't feeling well, and lied down on the cots in the back. It was like a square with half-walls and a giant curtain (although you can see over the walls) to the side. One blue-ish cot is next to the bathroom door, with the foot of the bed touching a cabinet I like to study whenever I lie down in there. The other cot is opposite of the bathroom door, the foot of it at the poster of what steriods can do to your body. Another interesting detail.
Before long I had to leave and march back on to class. We had a substitute in Ms. Carter's class too, but I didn't really get to know her, being I spent the rest of the class in the library with Devin, Taylor, and Sam while they looked up picutres. I just sat at one of the computers and typed up a random poem. My poetry doesn't make sense. When we got back all we did was color for like twenty minutes, anxiously awaiting that long ring (more like a beep.) to erupt out of the old speakers.
Before the bell rang, I asked the substitute if I could go get Mr. Poofy Coat, being that my locker is in the three hundreds and my class and bus were out front. I opened my locker just as the bell rang. As I was walking back to my bus, manoeuvring around the apes grunting and shoving the smaller off to the side so they can get to the same exact place as them, just a little bit faster, I saw that the snow had practically stopped. This sadened me, for I want a snow day tomorrow.
Oh magic mother nature, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! Please? Anyway, normal day, to say the least. Spent most of it apprehensively waiting my return home. Only to find out there was no internet. So I went to my "emo corner" in the library, sat, and ate cheese puffs for the next hour. When I got home there was internet. Yay, summing everything up! Oh well, I hope tomorrow will be better.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Forgiveness

Forgive and forget is re-live and regret.

You don't wanna do that.

Always forgive, but never forget.