Everyone is forcing their opinions on me and telling me that they aren't. They all make enemies with the ones whose opinions differ from their own.  

Hell is scratching at my back.

Ultimately, this is my choice. You all fail to realize this. You say it is completely up to me but then try to mold my mindset to your ideas. I will not lie down and have you all fight with each other and me about what is going to happen. Its my decision to make, not yours. 

Furthermore; I will not have you plead with me, beg me, or threaten me if your plans aren't similar to mine. I've had enough. I was looking for support amongst family and friends and all I found was chaos. You all have completely disappointed me, and worse, broken my heart.

This is MY life.

I can't believe you. Its hard enough to make this decision on my own, but to have everyone talking in my ear at once makes this ten times more difficult. If you aren't supportive of whatever decision I choose, then you aren't allowed to talk to me about the subject. If you are, but have differing opinions, don't TELL me about them unless I ask. I don't need everyone's two cents.

Enough is enough.

It's breaking my heart to make this decision.

I can't live knowing I've caused the death of someone else. The toll of the regret will take all I have left of me. It will disappoint my family, and I don't think I can handle the shit they will give me. I know they will never look at me the same.

I can't give my life up to this alien; I won't be able to care for something I never wanted. I quite frankly see it more as a burden than a blessing. Its a mistake, a simple slip up that's going to cost me more than my mind.

My life has been flipped over and crushed, making my plans for the future seem implausible. I have to change everything, and I'm very comfortable with my life right now. 

All of the options I have seem so far out of reach. I mull them over in my head again and again, weighing the pros and cons, all of the possibilities and what-ifs. I'm turning this situation inside out to try and find a solution, but there are so many factors I have to take into consideration. Its so much more complicated than a yes or no answer.

I still have no clue what I am going to do, and my hesitation  is leading to huge assumptions by all the witnesses. Waiting is turning this nightmare into a demon. I can no longer afford to spend any more time thinking this through, but I haven't completely gotten my answer yet. 

Come Wednesday, I will hopefully have made my decision, and I will hopefully not have lost my mind over it.

BOYCOTT EA

Listen to me people: do not buy any EA products! Especially The Sims 3!

These games are filled with bugs, glitches, and errors that prevent you from playing them. I've contacted EA about this for about 2 years now, without a single word back from them. Tell everyone you know not to buy any of EA's products.

I plan on ruining this gaming company, and I need your help.

the meaning of life

I now know what the meaning of life is:

It's love.

Love is a frequency that allows us to fully expand;
the emotion changes our DNA itself.

Look out in the world, what do you see?
War, hate, discrimination; murder, famine, depression....

This keeps us in low vibrational frequencies, or the frequency of fear.

The frequency of love is higher and faster, more wild and energetic.

Wake the fuck up and start loving people again...

Illusions

We are not here.
You are not reading this.

Its all an illusion.

I have no idea how to act,
how to think,
what to believe....
My mind is blown,
my world is upside down,
everything tangible
has become an idea.

Now what?
Now that I know this,
what happens next?

What we think we know is a lie (prt 2: illusions)

This illusion of our individual bodies
along with the misinformation
of our true origins
has manifested the idea
that we all think independently from another.

"Parroted Thinking".
Sound familiar?
This is ancient knowledge,
which our ancient relatives
understand much better than us.

There is a common
spiritual bond
between all things in the universe,
and we are all part of
one divine intelligence.
No phenomena,
or paranormal occurrences
are unexplainable.

The blank matter within
the most basic blocks of
perceivable existence
is malleable and molded
by intent...

Consciousness shapes our reality.

We are taught from an early age
how to think rationally and tangibly,
and to not explore ideas or notions.

Take what knowledge I have tried to share
and pass it on:

Ancient Knowledge.

Part 1

What we think we know is all a lie

I am so completely mind-fucked right now.
I'm starting to doubt everything,
this whole world is an illusion....

I can't explain it as well,
I can only give you
what I got from the knowledge
that was given to me.

Its simple to me but so complex simultaneously.
Everything you know is a lie:

We are not matter.
To think the world is made up of matter
is a selfish and narcissistic notion.
What actually creates the universe
is consciousness.

We were taught the perception
that we all think independently,
which is not at all true.
I think I finally understand
what the transcendentalists were talking about.
"Parroted thinking" is not only an idea,
or an opinion, but a fact.
The bible is another great example:
Don't take to heart all the fairytales
that course through the holy, biblical pages,
the bible is filled with symbols
and hidden meanings.
It is not only a fairytale,
but a way of life;
It is our guide to the universe.

"The Holy Word",
for instance, is not God's word.
We are held together by frequencies,
which create our pulse and fuel our mind.
THAT is the holy word,
the frequencies which are the fabric
of all consciousness in the universe.
Or "matter", as you'd call it.

Think about it;
what is the world made of?
Atoms?
Correct.
But when they went to explore the atom
in hopes of deciphering the meaning of life,
do you know what they found?
The atom is made up of nothing
but empty space.
So how can an empty atom
create the solid world around us?
Think about it.

The concept of substance arose
from the philosopher Aristotle.

Space and time have already
been proven to be illusions of perception,
so how can something
that occupies space be a true
perception of reality? (human bodies)

Our true consciousness does not exist
in our minds or our bodies.

M