teams

team no friends
team sad
team utterly disappointing
team don't get what im doing wrong
team correct grammar
team irony
team depression
team sarcasm
team no team

Humans

Humans are disgusting. I feel disgraced and ashamed to be a part of this race.

Emerson and Thoreau and Poe were right, we are all (as I've stated many times before) carbon copies of another. This goes for thinking as well. We are just parrots, repeating the thoughts and ideas of others, not really thinking them through before adopting them as our own thoughts and ideas. I find this so disgusting, that we would let another man think for ourselves. That we don't think or marvel or wonder. We are (as I've stated many times before) paper people. We are two-dimensional. We think not for ourselves, and we think only of ourselves. I find this disgusting. Do we have such distorted perspectives that only allow us to envision others' perspectives, and not to actually view theirs as our own? Do we have such a distorted mindset that falls so heavily under the rut of thinking that we cannot think for ourselves? I find this disgusting.

I find all human behaviors and actions disgusting.

We do what we do for ourselves and ourselves only. Kindness is not known in the concept of survival, nor is it known in the heart of human minds. For instance, when humans realize their lives are threatened, very few just lie down and die. They will do whatever it takes to preserve their life, including the slaughtering of the future (only to preserve the present, which to me makes no sense). This same concept fuels the motives of everyday actions, conscious or unconscious. Survival is the drive behind every thought and urge that pops into your head. Were ideas merely an invention of mankind?!

I wonder about this.

Just merely trying to think outside of the box is thinking within. There is a rut of thinking that society follows, broken up and swallowed in fear. Fears, which are the constituents of the monsters in the mirrors! Don't you see? Society is mirroring the failures and fallacies which have already been made, and expecting a different outcome each and every time! Wasn't that Einstein's definition of insanity?

It surely is my definition of insanity.

And even my saying that (or typing that, rather) is a prime example of the point I'm trying to make. I am merely a parrot repeating that idea of Einstein. My realization of my conforming is purely disgusting! I am disgusted.

Humans are disgusting. I feel disgraced and ashamed to be a part of this race.

update on life

update on life: fuck you.

Reading an extremely fucked up book: The Death of Bees. I suggest you read it.

Growing up without a father is raising children without an adequate mother is teen pregnancy and poverty is life selling drugs is prostitution and addiction is...

This book has my mind all fucked up.

Excerpt of imaginary book that might soon become a tangible idea (oxymoron):

"The qualms of my reflection are stopped by the palpable force of the mirror. You are just a ghost in glass, dotted with the drops of rain. What say do you have in the actions I take? You just reflect my guilt and sorrow. Tell me things I already know, like your mind holds a different dimension than my own. Dare you point your finger in our face and scream that the fault falls on my shoulders? What right do you have to separate our bodies, and blame one for the actions of another? We are we not I. What right do you have to hold superiority to me, when you just mirror the inferior me? Dare you judge like you would've done differently, when you can make no decisions of your own? I must take a mirror with me everywhere, so your idiocy can be stopped when you are there mirroring the same mistakes as I. Now you hold no greater position, you sit on no higher of a pedestal. You are me not you. Now laugh at me! You can't! It was you as well! You were there! You cannot judge your reflection!"

It sucks that I have so many great ideas for books, and I just can't put my thoughts into words. Hell, I can't even form my thoughts into sentences. My head is about to explode! But then again, these thoughts are probably just wandering lonely in the vast emptiness of my brain. It's a maze in there! Trust me, if I can't even figure it out, my thoughts will never be able to find a way out.

I feel like an impossible Sudoku puzzle. There are two 8's in the same row! DOES NOT COMPUTE!! sdhaio fhewipghriup

OMG CHUBBY SHUT UP!!

My cat is really fucking annoying. But she's Chubs and she's cute and she's sticking her face in my cereal ew.

Writing on this blog again makes me think of Youth. I wonder if Dave still reads this lol no prolly not.

I need to find some way to trim the hedges of this maze so I can express myself.

Paper people in this fucking paper town.

Get me the fuck out of Ohio!

I cannot compare myself to you,

in all of your honesty and

well why do you sell yourself short?

I guess it all comes back in the end.

In your blank eyes,

I see my reflection is a ghost,

dotted with your tears and I

can’t help but swallow myself whole.

There’s just too much of you

that you have lost.

I can’t help but think

it was all your fault.

There’s just too much happening,

and all of it is wrong.

I can’t understand why you left

when I just had let you in,

and you had me believing,

that I could start to feel again.

In your empty smile,

I hear the demons take your words.

They twist your tongue and I

am left hearing all that I’ve already heard.

There’s just too much of you

that you have lost.

I can’t help but think

it was all your fault.

There’s just too much happening,

and all of it is wrong.

I don’t how long this has been going on,

but how can I trust the hands

and the heart

that have led me to acknowledge

that I’m still falling apart?

All I see when I look at you

is my reflection in the dark.

There’s just too much of you

that you have lost.

I can’t help but think

it was all your fault.

There’s just too much happening,

and all of it is wrong.