Rock Bottom is the A Team

Those who say people never change

have obviously never met me

when I was younger,

and full of life,

when I dared to fly.

Those who say

money can’t buy happiness

don’t know that what’s free

isn't exactly the best,

and what you don’t

have to work for

isn't exactly worth it.

            How are you supposed to feel when you want to desperately to end your life, yet you’re too afraid of death to go through with it? Trapped, I guess. That’s how I feel. I’m stuck between two extremes, and the path in the middle, the one that everyone wants me to go down, is covered in this darkness. I can’t see a thing. It’s like a blanket of self-doubt and worthlessness and hopelessness, and you can never find your way out. Every time you think you've found the light at the end of the tunnel, it’s just another torch leading you deeper and deeper into the depths of depression. It’s like every ounce of happiness just seeps out of me, and every time I fall back into my bad habits of lying, smoking, skipping classes, and stealing, I fade further from who I really am. My life has been a constant spiral, out of control. Sometimes upwards, moving so fast towards happiness that I can almost taste it, but there’s gravity; everything has to fall at some point. My life is usually a spiral downward, falling fast towards my death. 

And I think I've finally reached rock bottom.

"They say, she's in the class A Team, stuck in her daydream, been that way since eighteen.."