hm

i knew you two were fighting
'cause you were sad.
today you didnt talk so much, but i saw you being happy with others.
i wonder
i just wonder.

oh my, oh my,
why cant i,
just die.
like everybody else who gives no fuck.
i give no fuck,
but to you.
but to you.

and you have no clue.

secrets

Everyone has secrets

That could drown them in the sea.

Written down, but long lost

like forgotten history.

Yeah, I lied,

but so did you.

So no one needs to know.

Eat your words,

then shut your mouth.

I’ll see you at the show.

ergh

Now why the hell does my soul have to be so fucking old?
Who knows, maybe I am old.

"a young one stuck in the thoughts of an old one's head." - W.A.M.S. by FOB

That definitely describes me.
Who knows, maybe a soul is just a word we use as a safety blanket.
Our bodies die but our souls do not. Our spirit does not.
Maybe we just say that to cease the fear of the unknown.
Of what happens after death.

I am the tune to a lullaby,
the same melody you use
to sing yourself to sleep.
You will never know
how it feels to be
as lonely as me.

I am miserable at best.

Help me, help me
I have been all wrong!
Nobody told me it would be this hard.
I'm scared and lonely,
no one seems to care.
I'm bent and broken way beyond repair.

There's this question mark
hung over my head,
which begs the question:
have I been mislead?
I don't know what I want
or who the hell I am.
Few people listen,
but no one understands.

todaayyy

is me and Tyler's 3 month anniversary.

I know, not big at all right?
Well, I guess it kind of is for me.
I wasn't expecting to stay with him this long.
God, I'm such a horrible person.

Okay, change of subject. I was reading through my blog and I realized I really only ever post my deeper or more pessimistic thoughts on here. Well, I can't really post anything else on here. I can't tell you about my life anymore. I'm being watched. It sucks, because you all probably think I'm some depressing chick who only sees the downside to every situation. But I am not like that at all.
I am happy. I smile. My life is wonderful right now. I just post all my thoughts on here, because I have no other place to put them. My thoughts are scary. Hell, they scare me sometimes! But in general, I'm a pretty happy person. I'm loud and obnoxious and people say I'm funny but I don't think so. People say I'm pretty but I don't think so. I'm just a normal teenage girl with a pretty weird and deep mind. It's not a blessing nor a curse. It's just kind of there, in the background, screaming "No! Don't do that!"

But I do anyway (: