B-dayyyy for Hermitt

Did I spell buddy wrong?

Oh, Julie!

Anyway. Happy birthday Hermit. Hope you have a good one.

Oh, and, they should create birthday resolutions. And, yours should be to make it to 26.

Haha, you're old.

If

If I can't wake you up, I can't wake myself up.

Why try and change somebody who doesn't want to change?

Why make decisions on whether or not someone becomes different?

I'm stuck in a core.

Still having dreams about the train.

And I hate being lied to when I know I'm being lied to and can't do anything about it. I guess this is truly the end of our friendship. But whatever. I was only your "summer budy" anyway.

Deeper

There was blood on the butterfly's wings.
The traumatized thing
can't fly anymore.
And her words were painted bright red
in the air of what's been said
like a hidden trap door.
So we fall to the grave of her mouth,
like her head is a house
and we're stuck in the core.

Feasting on the crumbs left behind.
Sucking on our thumbs,
We're still blind.
Reaching out in the dark,
to take a closer look
of the inside of our coffins
and our life skinned on a hook.

I take in what was said
'cause I'm like an orphanage.
But the sentence is a weapon,
Making reality seem real,
'cause before it was words
it was just an idea.
Now it's transformed into
something we can't take back.
Saying it only makes it worse
than leaving it an unspoken fact.

Well

WE DON'T LIVE IN A WHAT IF WORLD!

Except we do.

Hahahahaha, wait I don't get it.

This is my life

This is my life:

I'm sitting in a Kroger's, and for those of you who don't live in Ohio, that's a grocery store. I'm sitting there and watching this lady. She takes a number and is waiting with patience, or lack thereof, for her food. Finally, she's called, and she orders - chicken or salmon or some kind of meat. As she walk away, she slips the meat in her purse.
I think, my God, somebody has to have seen that.
I think, Somebody has to confront her.
But no, nobody confronted her. Not even myself, which in a sense makes me a sort of hypocrite. I just sit there listening to my music, and I think, this is my life. I think, this is the world we live in.
It's not like I wanted her to get caught. It's not my place to want justice when I've clearly been unjust before. I just wanted somebody to see her. I just wanted somebody to say something.

And I think, if this is my life, and this is the world we live in, maybe I don't want to be a part of it.

I feel empty.

I am

I am the visible reminder of the invisible.

Wakey Wakey

I reread the "Dreamer" section of RRR again last night. I wanted to cry and scream and throw things at Hermit simultaneously. I want to drag his ass out of LA and plant him back in Nevada. I want to lock him in a rehab somewhere.
You said something in him changed that night. That broke my heart all over again. I barely know him and I love/hate him. I guess you describe him so well. Of course he's capable of deceit, hell, even I thought he was Mr. Innocent til I read your book. Actually, until I found out about what he did to you. Yeah, that's when I wanted to help him.
Then I found out about his friends. The substances. I wanted to open his eyes. To wake him up.

But dreamers don't wake up.

FVD

Fear: The world east me alive.

Dream: The world doesn't eat me alive.

Fear: He dies.

Dream: He eats the little pickle he's in.

Fear: Fear.

Dream: Love.

Trending

Bisexuality is the new trend. The new scene. It doesn't matter that you're adding disgrace to the name, or that you people are one of the main reasons religious idiots and people who are afraid of change think homosexuals and bisexuals are the devil's children. It okay because you're only saying it to get attention anyway. It's perfectly alright because you'll be bi for one moment until somebody finds it disgusting, then you're straight as a stick again.

Sarcasm.
I despise you. You people who always have to have the next best thing. They always have to do what everybody else does. Agree with whatever anybody else says. You're carbon copies of the freakin' devil. That's what you are. And you sit there in your righteous ways 'cause that's what you people do. Smile down to the inferior. Soon they'll be on the same page.

Sarcasm.
I wear boy's shirts. I can't stand that girly glitter shit. I don't wear makeup. I like basketball. I like skateboarding. I like swimming. I hate pink. Are you guys going to shun me because I'm different? Because I'm a tom boy? I love the way you think you know so much. The real world is seconds from your sight and all you can see is that cracked mirror. You don't deserve a point of view if the only things you view are yourself and your opinions.

Pedestals.

I am Joe's Confusion

I am Joe's confusion?

I'm your nonsense, like a free reign of love and hatred.
Since you are so much more than just a locked jaw.
When the train comes to a halt, there isn't always people left on.
I keep my heart on my finger because it can be so easily ripped off my sleeve.
I keep my mind at a ready because I never know when I'll need it.
And I can't justify the way I live my life.
Because you never know when things will go wrong.
And you'll never know when you'll have to change.
But I know the way I life my life is fair.
Because you want to be happy and rich.
I want to be happy.
You,  you are a constant reminder of what not to do.
I am the constant reminder of what not to love.

You. Just. Gave. Up.